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*Illustration: About 20 years ago as I was in the early days of building a new youth ministry, I was blessed to have a group of Freshman and Sophomore students who were leaders, spiritually hungry, and many of whom were musicians.  We were able to have incredible worship as part of our gatherings.  I had so many students turning to Jesus.  A key leader in this was a was a sophomore named Dan.  He was quite influential, well liked, community builder and worship leader.  God was using him.  It came to my attention that he was beginning to hang out with a group that was more of the partying type.  I questioned this with him, and he shrugged it off as occasional and no big deal.  He was not doing what they were doing.  Slowly I saw his fire for the Lord dwindling.  I had heard that he had begun partying and you can see him distancing from the youth group.  Eventually, he was no longer leading worship.  When I would talk to him, he would present the good front, but inwardly he was flailing.  He graduated and went off to college.  A friend of his reached out to me to say Dan was falling apart and going down a dangerous path.  During one of his breaks from school I asked to go get a smoothie with him.  When I challenged him about his decision-making and the friends, he had surrounded himself, he became defensive and said that he still loved God and that he was reaching them for Jesus even though he was doing hard drugs and getting drunk with them.  I concluded my time with him that day by saying God is a jealous God and will not let his name be mocked.  So, I begged him to repent, or God would take him to prevent further harm to his name and to Dan’s soul.  I was shocked by my words and so was he.  That would be the last time I spoke to Dan.  He was killed in a car accident weeks later driving the wrong way on a freeway.  His path to a tragic end began by underestimating the influence your friends can have upon you. 

Read Proverbs 13:20

“A companion of fools suffers harm.”

• A “fool” is one who knows better but chooses to reject the counsel or wisdom of others. This is not the simple or innocent one who is naive or ignorant.
  
  
• A “companion” is someone you are in the presence of. The company you keep.  Someone you spend time with.
  
  
• Our character is always under construction and our influences help shape our character. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be misled.  Bad company corrupts good character.” 
  
  
• Patterns of behavior by those we spend time with will become our patterns. Proverbs 22:24-25
  • We listen, learn, and do what we see modeled around us regularly.
  • The warning of wisdom is that these unhealthy behaviors learned will ensnare you. You will become trapped. 
  • Example: So many became angry people during Covid, because they gathered around them others who were angry. Just causes were undone by poor behavior.  People I knew before had changed.

• Careful to not get caught up with those that appeal to the eye—attractiveness or wealth. Proverbs 19:4
  • Becomes difficult to know the motives or the sincerity of friendship.
  • Can be superficial.
  • Example: The prodigal’s friends bailed when the money ran out.

• Unreliability among your friends will create ruin for you. Proverbs 18:24
  • You will become reactionary rather than proactive in decision making.
  • You will stand on shaky ground

“Walk with the wise and become wise.”

• The “wise” are humble learners who live by what they have received from both God and others.
  • Not all believers are wise.
  • Not all unbelievers are fools, but they are limited in their wisdom for things that are spiritual and form the deepest of character, behaviors, and discernment.

• Good friends are essential to our personal health and growth.
  • Not good to go it alone. Genesis 2:18
  • There is strength in numbers. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

• There is joy in the journey when our friends give us good advice. Proverbs 27:9
  • Elders, PLT, LG, Hank and Greg, and so many others.

• God has designed us to need the counsel and influence of others. Proverbs 15:22

What about reaching those who need Jesus but are currently fools?

• Apply the 80/20 principle following Jesus’ example.
  
  
• Spend 80% of your time with those who are wise and pursuing God to maintain healthy influence upon you.
  
  
• Spend up to 20% of your time with those who are not walking with Jesus but only with the purpose of being the influencer in guiding them towards Jesus.
  • Flippancy in engaging those who are living foolishly will lead to becoming like them. [Dan]
  • Your 20% will become a greater number and that should become the wakeup call.

Who should you pursue for influence upon you?

Qualities of a wise and healthy friend.

1. A good friend will love unconditionally. Proverbs 17:17
   • They will be reliable.
   • They are not your friend by what you have, pleasure, or for appearances/standing with others.

2. A good friend will push and provoke you to do things as Jesus would do them.

Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, bur encouraging one another all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

• This means they are a companion. You are getting together regularly.
• This relationship will encourage you, not tear you down.

3. A good friend will not lack in zeal or energy in pursuing Jesus.

Romans 12:10-12 “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal but keep your spiritual fervor in serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.    

• There is a commitment to love from out of the love for God.
• There will be a mutual spirit of honor.
• Hope is built that creates joy in the relationship.
• There is patience when there is challenge.
• Prayer is a common experience together.

Benediction: We are all born with a nature that pursues foolishness.  We need Jesus and we need to surround ourselves with those who are pursuing Jesus.  We do this not only for our own benefit but also for those who do not know Jesus.  Your life can be the perfume of Christ they so desperately need.